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| Laneway - The Experience |
| by Justin Pearsall | |
| Wed:27-Feb-08 | |
|
Page 1 of 2 I wake up to a message telling me to be there in an hour. My decision to have a house party the night before is already revealing itself to be a mistake.I skip breakfast. I shower and pick up my clothes off the floor. I catch a tram where a middle-aged man sits really close to me despite there being plenty of available seats. I am annoyed and also regret missing breakfast. I meet Tim and Kate and we screw around giving writers their tickets. Finally we hand over our VIP ticket, receiving nothing very VIP at all. Although I pretend that I’m fine with this, in truth I long for some recognition of exclusivity. It doesn’t come. Anyway, we’re in now. We check up the stage set-up. It is good, but it’s crazy to think that last year’s main stage was as tiny as it is. We meet Steve who has shaved his beard and cut his hair. Tim is correct in saying that he now looks like a cross between Jeff Tweedy and Glenn Richards. We get beers. We see Matt (formerly of Good Intentions) and his sister Gemma. I always think his sister is his girlfriend, so I don’t really talk to her (I have this weird thing where I don’t want people to think I’m hitting on their girlfriends. So I tend to ignore them, which in turn makes me seem either sexist or rude). Matt tells us about his new band and says that Kieran is playing guitar in it. I didn’t know Kieran played guitar or even that he was back in Australia. Matt says the new band has a choir in it. I am really interested in this, but also I’m secretly envious that no one asks me to play guitar in their band that has a choir. We watch The Basics, who I’ve never seen live before. They’ve been described to me as a cleaner version of Little Red. After this performance I would describe them as a beige version of Little Red, cross-pollinated with the average parts of The Police. Thomo finally gets in. He has that glazed look that screams hangover. He is with Sarah and Alan Brough. Alan and Thomo trade phone numbers. Despite Alan being the smartest person alive on Spicks and Specks, he can’t really work his phone and gets Thomo to help him. Tim and I wait around to be introduced but it never happens. I am not-so-secretly devastated at missing this brush with fame and still hunger for exclusivity. We get beers. We see Al and his girlfriend Geua. I know Al well enough to be able to talk to Geua without me feeling like it’s seeming like I’m hitting on her, so it’s all cool. We mill around and watch Devastations. We see Claire Collins. I think to tell her that she reminds me of Daphne from Scooby Doo, but only after she leaves. We get beers. By this stage the beers are starting to work and I feel vaguely human again. We walk over to the middle of the main stage to watch Okkervil River. I see Tom and Dan. Tom tells me he wants to move to Japan. I tell him I’ve heard that the whole Japanese schoolgirl thing is a real thing over there. He tells me it is. I tell him I too would like to go to Japan. Dan has aviators on and with his cropped hair cut he kinda looks like some parody of a character from Police Academy. I don’t tell him this. The band gets better, but mostly can’t really pull off the feel of the album. When people ask me what I thought of it I just agree with whatever they say because I couldn’t be bothered going into the subtleties of it. We get beers and Al ends up wearing Geua’s vodka. I say “Does anyone else think it is sausage time?” Apparently they don’t. But they do think that “sausage time” is hilarious. I go to get two beef burgers instead, which takes a really long time because the only real source of cooking equipment is a George Foreman grill. The guy in front of me orders three burgers. The burgers are $4.90 and the lady uses a calculator to add this up. She then takes his $20 and gives him $16.40 change. We calculate that each burger has only cost him $1.20. I pay full price for my burgers. I give one to Al, but then complain about still being hungry and get half of it back off him. The burger is good. We miss The Panics because the burgers take so long. We go to The Lounge and get beers. Thomo falls asleep and I take his beer from his hand. His hand, however, stays in a semi-circle position which makes it look like he’s been playing with himself. We put ice in his hand to rectify this situation. Al introduces Geua to some guy who says he has “heard a lot about her”. She says “that’s great. Who are you?” I still don’t know who he is. I wake Thomo and decide that something must be done to ensure that we don’t peak before 2pm. We get pass outs and get two Red Bulls. We also go into Myer to use the restrooms. We then sit on a really expensive massage chair. It feels really good. We think about asking how much it is but then realise that neither of us are actually going to buy a massage chair. An incredibly attractive girl tries to slap me on the penis. I block her with my hands but kinda regret it later. We watch Little Red. They amaze. A girl in the window looks like my ex-girlfriend so I spend about half the time sneaking glances at her. It definitely isn’t her though, so I should stop looking. I don’t. Thomo and I go and get another Red Bull, spearmint Professional chewing gum and a bottle of water. We wonder what so good about this gum that it classifies as Professional? We try to get to Tim to watch Clap Your Hands Say Yeah but end up about three people behind him. We eat the spearmint gum. It is good and last longer than a regular gum, so we now know why it is Professional. I give Tim the packet of gum and he returns it to me empty. He is now chewing 10 pieces of gum. We get beers. Someone has obviously thrown up on the floor of the Lounge. We walk past it and up the stairs to see Hot Little Hands play. We get beers. Hot Little Hands set is grouse. The new songs are great. We tell Tim, the band’s singer, to get us a copy of the album when it’s done and dusted. He tells us it will just be a week or so. He told us a similar thing six months ago. So I don’t believe him, but still would like to hear it. We get beers. We see various members of Clap Your Hands, Okkervil and Broken Social Scene drinking together. We head out onto the main stage for Gotye. A guy that looks like Slash walks past us. We also talk with a guy from Tasmania, but I can’t remember what about. We get beers. We see Steve talking with Taka from Little Red. We tell Taka they did well. Taka hugs us. Taka is drunk. We randomly start handing out badges and website cards to people. Some guy goes on a five-minute rant about how he had a badge once, but doesn’t believe in them anymore. We wait till his back is turned and then try to pin a badge onto his shirt. He notices. We keep the badge. The Presets begin. Thomo begins talking to Brenna. We introduce Brenna to everyone as Maree. She has a cute smile. I tell her she has a cute smile. She does. We tell her that Wireless Bollinger is a business for cleaning products and chastise her when she won’t come to the after party. Slash hugs Thomo. We try to get beers but realise that there are no more beers. We walk her out. Thomo’s answer of El Salvador, as his next overseas destination, is way funnier than my response of Africa. I wish I would have thought of that. << Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >> |
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