Chinese Democracy. Hmpf. Are there any two more cynicism-inducing words in the English language (and that’s without taking a geopolitical slant)? Nearly annual promises of an impending release, almost to the point that when the announcement is made, it is an ideal moment to check the batteries in the smoke detectors (the current date, incidentally, is November 23rd this year).

But that was only an obligatory spiel about the stupidity inherent in Guns ‘n’ Roses releasing a new album. There is a more pressing concern. At the end of the day, it is almost certain to be terrible. And there is no greater reason for this than the fact that it is not, as the moniker might suggest, a Guns ‘n’ Roses album. It is, instead, an Axl Rose solo album. And herein lays the crux of one of the greatest travesties in modern music.

The Gunners are no longer a band. The name is a mere label, a marketing tool to sell a (likely) shit record to a bunch of nostalgic gen-Xers pining for a band that was good when they were 15. Guaranteed, the release of Chinese Democracy, assuming it gets its arse into gear before its newly slated release date, will be a massive hit. Quality will not matter; in fact, the vast majority of purchasers will not have heard a single track, will buy the record sight unseen. Because of the strength of the Guns ‘n’ Roses brand, millions will be suckered into a heinously misguided purchase.

And it certainly is no isolated incident. Exhibit B is Massive Attack. After the majesty that was Blue Lines and Protection, and to a lesser extent Mezzanine, the band disintegrated. Founding members Tricky and Shara Nelson barely survived the first two albums, while Andrew Vowles, Horace Andy and Grant Marshall were all long gone before Robert Del Naja decided to release his solo effort, 100th Window under the banner of his former band. That it wasn’t any good is hardly relevant. What is relevant is that, once again, a once-respected group’s name was besmirched by the powers that be in order to move a few extra units of a substandard album.

The list goes on, with live tours as well as album releases. Alice in Chains recruited the absurdly named William DuVall to replace the irreplaceable Layne Staley – the man that made the band cool, after Jerry Cantrell wrote the great songs. INXS have attempted innumerable times to substitute Michael Hutchence, Queen actually thought that they were a real band without Freddie Mercury, and The Doors, inconceivably, believed that they could come back sans Jim Morrison.

This then raises a second problem with the branding of the music industry. The misguided lead singer replacement. Of all members of a band, surely the most irreplaceable is the frontman. Guitarist a junkie? Get a new one. Bass player run off with a groupie? Who even recognizes the bass player? Drummer exploded? Plenty of them floating around. But the singer? They ARE the band; the heart, the soul and the voice. They usually write the lyrics, they give the flavour and humanity. When a singer changes, the character of the band is irrevocably altered. So should the name remain?

This certainly is not a disavowal of naming bands. No point advocating some stupid anarchic musical rebellion against basic capitalism. There is, beyond any need for identification, a primal thrill for a bunch of teens with three power chords agonizing over the title of their first band. No one should be deprived of that. But, should those teenagers somehow navigate the labyrinth of bullshit that is the music industry and the band become international stars, they should remain just that – a band. If the singer decides that he’s too good for his comrades and goes solo, only to make Songs From the Labyrinth 20 years later, that’s it. Band over. It’s so simple.

Nirvana never reformed. Their legacy remains untainted. The Beatles have strenuously resisted the pressure to make the quick billion or two a concert tour would make them. Perhaps the greatest example is Joy Division. After Ian Curtis’ untimely death, the band moved on, gave Bernard Sumner the microphone, and became New Order. And the rest is history. These bands will forever remain at the apex of musical history, as they should. After Chinese Democracy comes out – if it ever does – who will be able to say the same for them?